Loneliness

I woke up this morning at 9am with an overpowering loneliness which embraced me. I don't know but i just feel so alone and empty. I used to enjoy my moments of solitude, but this morning, it just simply struck me that i am alone and no one wants to be with me. Out of all the million men in the world,no one actually wants to be with me and honestly that thought makes me feel so sad. I don't even know the root cause of this thought,hormones? sex life ending in drought?, all ghost from the past? i don't know and i can't even point out. When was the last time i was really happy?--> It was when i was drowning myself  for three consecutive nights with a bottle of vodka,even my source of happiness is way too artificial,temporary happiness in the confines of  a bottle of liquor and some puff of cigarette,what a shame! whew! oh well, i guess i have to go out and get some rays of sunlight,who knows it might help activate my happy hormones.